His Guardian Angel
by Angel22897
Summary: I reach out to Tobias. I wish I could take the pain away, but there is nothing I can do to mend his broken heart. The only thing I can do now, is watch over him, and keep him out of harm's way. I can be there for him when no one else is.


His Guardian Angel: Chapter 1

It breaks my heart to see him in so much pain... And it's because of me. I never wanted to leave him, but who knows what would have happened if the memory serum hadn't been released. I couldn't let Caleb make the sacrifice, not when it was out of guilt not love, not when I knew it would kill him. I thought maybe I could live through it. I almost lived through it. I reach out to Tobias I wish I could take the pain away, but there is nothing I can do to mend his broken heart.

The only thing I can do now, is watch over him, and keep him out of harm's way. I can be there for him when no one else is.

* * *

When Cara told him what had happened to me he first looked at her full of disbelief, then a look of realization and devastation crossed over him. I had never seen him look so vulnerable or so broken before. He had always been so strong, even in the most difficult times. So seeing him like that made no sense to me. Christina cried out, and fell into Cara's embrace. All the while Tobias stood back his dark blue eyes glazed over staring out at nothing in particular. I reached out to him, tried to speak him, to tell him that I was okay, that I was in a better place. But he couldn't see me. He couldn't hear me.

* * *

I walked with Tobias and Christina as they followed Cara to the morgue. Tobias was still holding the same blank expression. He walked over to my body slowly. A trace of hope flashes in his eyes when he sees me but quickly disappears when he touches my arm, cold and stiff. Carefully he took my limp hand into his and squeezed it. Christina sniffled and sobbed by his side. His eyes were wet with tears, and suddenly he fell to his knees tears streaming down his face, his body shaking. My heart crumbled at the sight of it. I wrapped my arms around him protectively, wishing he could feel my touch. "I'm so sorry..." I whisper as if he could hear. "I never wanted to leave you." I closed my eyes still holding Tobias close,  
hoping with all my heart that Caleb would relay that message to him. "I love you...I love you so much."

I stepped back when Christina and Cara bent down next to Tobias on the ground speaking to him gently through their own sobs. They took his arms and helped him to his feet. Together they left the morgue.

* * *

The next few days Tobias spent walking throughout the compound. I was happy to see the changes that were taking place since the memory serum was released, and I think that deep down underneath all the sadness, Tobias was too. He spent some time with others, but most of the time he was alone. He seemed stifled in the presence of others, but lonely on his own. He looked terrified and I wondered why. His hands shook often and I tried to steady them as I walked by his side slipping my hand in his. I wished that he could feel our fingers intertwined, that he would squeeze my hand one more time... even for just an instant.

* * *

One day while Tobias was walking around the compound, Caleb came up behind him and called out his name.

"Tobias."

Tobias shuttered, ignoring Caleb as he searched the room for an escape route.

"Wait. Please." Caleb said.

I could tell that he didn't want to but Tobias turned to face him. I could see all the anger he held for Caleb in his eyes.

"I don't mean to bother you," Caleb continued "But I have something to tell you. Something . . . she told me to tell you, before . . ."

"Just get on with it," Tobias interrupted him.

"She told me that if she didn't survive, I should tell you . . ." Caleb choked, then pulled himself up straight, fighting off tears. "That she didn't want to leave you."

I looked at Tobias I had hoped his expression would have changed but it hasn't, he still glares angrily at Caleb.

"Yeah?" Tobias answered harshly. "Then why did she? Why didn't she let you die?" I was surprised by all the hurt and anger he projected with his voice.

Caleb continued speaking, "You think I'm not asking myself that question? She loved me. Enough to hold me at gunpoint so she could die for me. I have no idea why, but that's just the way it is."

Tobias seemed surprised by this and Caleb walked away leaving him blinking back tears. Tobias sat in the middle of the lobby in silence, I could hear a distant conversation between Peter and Cara.

I squeezed Tobias' hand in mine. "Please understand... Please try..."

He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, as if to push the tears back. Sometimes I think it would be better if he just let his emotions out, even though I hate so much to see him cry.

Cara walked up to and sat beside him.

"You don't have to stay here," he said.

"I don't have anywhere to be," she replied "And the quiet is nice."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Cristina came jogging up to them. Her face was swollen and her eyes were red, it looked like she had been crying.

"There you are," Christina spoke somberly. "Come on, it's time. They're unplugging him."

Tobias shuttered and slowly pushed himself to his feet. He walked side by side with Christina, Cara behind them.

Tobias' eyes were filled with sadness. I knew that he was still blaming himself. Even though I blamed him before, I know it's not true, even if he was part of the attack. I wish that I could have told him that.

I wish that I could protect him from himself... I've always wished that.


End file.
